Seeing Yourself as MORE

I have been thinking lately about how I want this Blog to make you feel when you are stepping into your life on a regular basis. 

The thought that comes to mind that's most compelling is this: I want you to see yourself and your life as MORE than you ever thought of before. 

I want you to see yourself as MORE than society thinks you can be. As MORE than what your friends think you can be, and EVEN MORE than your family is aware you are capable of being. Let me explain.

I have learned an awful lot about lack mindset vs. abundance mindset in the past few years. This concept means seeing the world and what it has to offer as either SCARCE AND NOT ENOUGH or ABUNDANT and MORE THAN ENOUGH for everyone. 

I have also learned that too often we also see ourselves with this lack mindset. 

Too often I see women in particular say that they don’t have enough money to pursue the things they want in life. They see themselves as not pretty or thin enough to attract the partner that they want. They are not sure if they are smart enough to get the degree they want or pursue the career they want.

Why the heck does this happen?! I’ve got some theories.

For centuries women have been deemed the damsels in distress. We are not generally seen as the power houses of change, intelligence, negotiation, compassion, strength, and growth that we ACTUALLY ARE.

Let me illustrate. I was just watching the 1970’s movie Jaws this weekend. If you are not familiar, it’s a movie about a particular great white shark that terrorizes a beach community and eats anyone that comes into its path. I love a good Steven Spielberg flic, but when it comes to women, this movie was just reflective of the times, and where women stood then. I got a good giggle at just how many times the girls and women in that movie just sat helplessly screaming as they waited to be rescued by the powerful men who could innovate, out-wit, out smart, and out maneuver this terror of a shark who was going to gobble everything and anything in its path! There were no women taking part in solving this problem, instead it was normal for them to sit and wait to be saved.

We also see this play out in Disney princesses helplessly waiting for price charming to come rescue them. Women have been portrayed for centuries as being beautiful, thin, and helpless. Cinderella waited until prince charming chose her. Sleeping Beauty waited in her tower for the prince to come rescue her from a fire breathing dragon. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love amazing movies. I love men in these roles of being heroic, smart, and witty. I am a complete sucker for a good love story—they are my favorite!!! I just love to see women ALSO in these roles.

It simply highlights JUST ONE of the many, many, many places that influences women to only see themselves in those roles. The role of the thin, pretty, and helpless. 

All that said, in recent years this has been changing. In The Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen leads her people to a life free of oppression. We are also seeing more female politicians (Go Kamala Harris!), female entrepreneurs, first responders, doctors, lawyers, innovators, and athletes in leadership positions.

I am SO IMPRESSED by the USA womens soccer team and their fight for equal pay for equal work. They have earned more championships and bring in more money than mens soccer, but they are paid millions and millions less in prize money than their male counterparts. I am so proud to see their strength to stand up and demand better treatment. They are power houses for doing so in my mind.  These powerful women are an amazing example of people who see themselves as MORE than society recognizes them to be.  They are pushing for change for equal pay as a representation of their belief in themselves.

To bring it back to my point, I have to suspect that part of the reason we don’t often see ourselves as ENOUGH might have something to do with the mass cultural programming that has been going on for thousands of years before now.

This old programming, as much as we might not want to admit it, can influence us today to have a LACK MINDSET. This is a mindset that increases the likelihood that you see yourself as not having enough, being enough, or that you ARE enough. This influences women AND men to question the abilities, strength, and determination of women—because we ALL have SEEN LESS OF IT.  

In the documentary Miss Representation, it is reported that when you ask young girls at age 7 ‘Who wants to be president?’, the answers are vastly the same between boys and girls. When you ask the same question of adolescents at age 15, you see a “massive gap immerge” in gender, in that girls drop off and do not say they want to be president. 

To me, this illustrates a sort of social programming that takes place, even if we don’t intend for it to take place. 

I am not saying all of this to be a Debbie Downer. I say this to create some AWARENESS of where much of this belief system, at least in part, comes from. This belief system is BIGGER than you or me. It’s important to understand that this is NOT your fault. This was here before any of us ever got here. It’s like a tragic subliminal message that takes place. The only way to change it is to collectively acknowledge that it is there, take responsibility for it, and FIX IT. 

What I MOST WANT for you, is to CHALLENGE the status quo here. Begin to SEE YOURSELF AS MORE. SURPRISE people around you, INSPIRE people around you, LEAD women around you, and if you are a guy, UPLIFT the women around you. Challenge this idea that you cannot be the innovator, the breadwinner, the community leader, or business owner. 

Say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH to this lack mindset that we cannot be all that we were created to be. 

Instead, I want you to see yourself as more than a pretty face, more than the shape of your thighs, and more than the girl that can get the guy. I want you recognize how hard working you are, whatever arena you are in. If you are a stay at home mom, recognize the heroism in your job to raise the next generation of healthy young men, women, and people. If you own your own business, recognize the path you are carving for those who come after you—to see that it is POSSIBLE. Whatever platform you find yourself on, see yourself as INFINITELY AMAZING and BUILT WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.

Start looking to other female leaders to guide you. We are SO LUCKY to have so many of them today. They are there to show us what is possible. They are there to show us that we are MORE and we can BE MORE. Start using an Abundance Mindset.

Tapping into an Abundance Mindset means to see your world full of infinite possibilities. You hold infinite potential. You can BE, DO, and HAVE ANYTHING that your heart desires. Stop telling yourself that you aren’t sure if you are smart enough to complete that course, that degree, to get that job, to start that business, to make the money you want to make, to take that vacation to the place you have always wanted to go, or to fulfill the dreams you DESERVE to fulfill.

It may be hard. You will encounter obstacles. After all, we still do live here, in a patriarchal society. You will have to likely work harder. You will be overlooked at times. There will be blood, sweat, and tears to get there. It will be tough. But YOU ARE TOUGHER. You have an entire generation of women who came before you, to fight for you, to back you up. An entire generation of women who fought for a right to vote, for a place at the table, for an opportunity for US TO BE HEARD.  Don’t let that lack mindset keep you quiet. Make some freakin’ NOISE! See yourself as POWERFUL beyond measure. No one knows what is inside of you, except you.

Now, I want you to take some time to sit and REALLY THINK about whatever it is that you want. What are you currently holding yourself back from? What do you see as not possible, or see as “it’s just the way it is.”? I want you to start challenging those beliefs. They ARE NOT FACTS. They are just beliefs that you assumed were true.  You have the power to change them. Start seeing yourself as MORE. You are CAPABLE of MORE.

You are smart. You are dedicated. You are hard working. You are strong. And heck, you can do it all in heels—if you want to! Heck, you can do it in Converse! THE POINT IS, YOU CAN DO IT! Start seeing yourself as MORE. You are the only thing holding you back. We can SHATTER all those glass ceilings TOGETHER! I challenge you to see yourself as MORE.  

Please, please, find me on Instagram @connectionsrising and share with me how this Blog Post affected you! I want to hear any of the silly truths you have been telling yourself, and that you are deciding to let them go! How are you choosing to change your mind and see yourself as MORE?

Hugs!! Till Next Time!

Shelby