The NECESSITY of Scheduling FUN!!!!!

Remember when you were a little kid and someone scheduled time for you to have a friend over, time to go to a birthday party, to be signed up for sports, or dance class, or some other activity you liked? Someone was constantly looking out for you to be having FUN. I am sure these things made you HAPPY! 

Why don’t we see this as a PRIORITY in adulthood? Adults tend to constantly be so busy. Busy with work, with kids, taking care of the house.....you know what I am talking about right?

That said, I think we need to PRIORITIZE FUN JUST AS MUCH!!! 

I am going to make a case for you on just why that is. For years in my practice, I have watched people come to me saying they are exhausted, physically SICK, developing injuries, and UNHAPPY. So much of the time, I see that their lives are filled with FAR TOO MUCH WORK!!! 

Constant work and no play is not good for you. Eventually you will see it show up in your health, your emotions, and your body's desire to just SHUT YOU DOWN. Quite literally, you will get sick. It surprises me when people think they are meant to keep going like machines. We are NOT machines, we are living things, and living things needs rest. 

I have actually hit tremendous burnout myself too. I was getting migraines 15 days a month or more, I was like one of those walking migraine commercials. When I talked to my doctor, she asked to see my schedule (which was jam packed). She said to me, "Shelby, if this doesn't change, I can't help you with your migraines. You need to REST and  you need time for FUN!" This feedback changed my whole outlook on the work and hustle mentality. I was actually MAKING MYSELF SICK!!!! I began making changes right then and there--and I continue to see areas for improvement. 

You are not going to get to the end of your life, sitting on your rocking chair saying…… “geeez, I wish I just worked a little bit harder.” 

I didn’t say that you shouldn’t take risks, work hard to pursue your dreams, and make them happen. I always believe in that. 

What I did say, is that you should value fun, just as much. When you were a kid, you did both. You went to school, you were expected to work hard there, AND you played on the weekends. You had fun AFTER SCHOOL. 

I want to advocate for how much better you will FEEL when you actually make time to PLAN AND SCHEDULE YOUR FUN!!! Otherwise, your life will get too busy, and you won’t fit it in.  I don’t mean plan fun things JUST for your kids to do with you either!! I mean, what do YOU REALLY WANT TO DO? What do you CRAVE to do? What do you LONG to do? 

Those are the things that you should be scheduling and planning for!!!!

A couple weeks ago my husband and I celebrated our 14^th wedding anniversary. We scheduled time to go out to one of our favorite restaurants. We went to a place that sits right across from the ocean, in a beautiful candle lit atmosphere. I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE sitting in this spot. We always ask for a window seat, just so we can look out over the water. It’s in my home town, so it feels like a piece of home to me too. The atmosphere in this place is so warm and inviting. There’s a fireplace that is usually lit inside, beautiful woodwork, and gorgeous scenic views to look out at…..I just feel so peaceful and heavenly when we go there. There’s usually live music (either a pianist or a violinist playing softly in the background). Their food is absolutely amazing, and it is just a little moment of luxury! For those of you who live around here, you must check out the York Harbor Inn if you haven’t, and if you visit, you should check it out too! 

My point is, we MADE A PLAN. We asked some friends to watch the kids, we scheduled a reservation for dinner, and we made it happen. 

You don’t have to make this hard or expensive either. I love making a plan to watch a movie with some yummy snacks after the kids are in bed. In the summer, sometimes I just go sit on the beach (with or without the kids!). That costs nothing at all. Last winter my husband and I got back into skiing, and brought our oldest son for the first time—and I can’t wait to do that again this winter!! I love planning nature walks with my kids around a path close to the ocean where I live. There’s also plenty of fun hiking trails nearby.  We always make a point to take some time off during the summer for a vacation—even in the years when we haven’t had any money to go anywhere. We make it a point to schedule some fun things to do right here!! We go swimming at a lake, or go to a water park, the beach, white water rafting—my husband is a trained guide (yes, I know, we love water, you see the theme?!) 

We have been saving for a while now, and we have a plan to go to Aruba in late Spring of 2022 too!! We had to plan to put money away each week to make this happen, hunt for a good deal, and COMMIT that it is going to happen!!! That means sometimes forgoing the things we want, but it is because we are committed to fun later!!! We plan small fun and BIG FUN!! Fun is a PRIORITY! 

You can’t expect to just feel happy going through the daily grind all the time. I think that the HUTSLE mentality is not necessarily all that healthy for us. I might go through periods where I do this, but overall, I really try to plan breaks, and plan for fun. Since then, migraines have significantly dropped off a cliff in my life. FUN MAKES ME WELL. 

I urge you to do this in your own life. Make it a point to look at your calendar, 1-3 months in advance at least. Schedule weekends OFF, where you do NOTHING. Just do something you want to do during that time. For me, I love seeing a weekend with nothing to do on the calendar. I know some people who hate to see an empty calendar, so if that’s not you, don’t do that. If you’re like me, you might NEED regularly planned weekends that are not filled with activities. So SCHEDULE THEM!!! When someone asks you to commit to something, tell them that you have to check your schedule first, and don’t schedule over that precious time that is for YOU.   

Schedule time for a fun night out with a friend. Schedule time for a weekend away if you have the money. Schedule time for date night or to treat yourself to something you love. Get it on the calendar, and make it essential that it happens. 

You deserve adult play dates, adult fun activities, and adult time off. Without it, you will burn out. You will develop feelings of anxiety, sadness, feeling on edge, and grumpiness….because life just feels like work all the time. I see scheduling fun as ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL. I tell my clients this all the time. I practice this myself, and I am urging you to see this as essential too. 

So what are you waiting for?!?!  Go out there and schedule some FUN!!!!  Don’t wait, make a plan to sit down and actually DO THIS!! If you have to, SCHEDULE TIME TO SCHEDULE YOUR FUN!! 

I would love to hear what you love to do for fun, so feel free to send me a DM on Instagram, I’m @connectionsrising. I might want to add your fun things to my list!