Decrease Stress with GRATITUDE for STRESS

I know what you might be thinking. What?! How can anyone be grateful for stress?! Well, I was thinking the same thing. What good can possibly come from stress and even extreme stress? 

Here is what came to me.

 The Law of Polarity and STRESS

Have you ever heard of the Law of Polarity? In case you haven’t, the Law of Polarity is basically the law of opposites. Everything has two poles. Think love vs. hate, good vs. evil, north vs. south, dark vs. light, death vs. life. Newton’s Third Law of Motion states that “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” This is basically the Law of Polarity. 

So you might be asking, "Shelby, what the heck does The Law of Polarity have to do with lowering my stress?" 

I’ll tell you. 

Because CONTRAST CREATES CLARITY.

CONTRAST CREATES CLARITY

Every time I have faced extreme stress in my life, it gives me a VERY CLEAR PICTURE of EXACTLY WHAT I DON’T WANT in my life. Without that contrast, I would be FAR LESS MOTIVATED TO CHANGE IT. 

Think about it. Have you ever found yourself just dealing with the status quo, dealing with something for far too long because it just wasn’t quite BAD ENOUGH?

Maybe you stayed at a bad job for way too long, because it just wasn’t bad enough to leave? Then your employer did something that was so unbearable for you to stand that it FINALLY pushed you out the door into leaving? Maybe you stayed in a crappy situation for one day too long that led you to feel like you were going to die inside if you DIDN’T JUST GET THE HECK OUT?! Perhaps you have stayed in a relationship until you were ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE, until you just couldn’t take it anymore, before you FINALLY made the decision to leave. 

Without that STRESS, without that CONTRAST, you would just stay in a crappy position forever. 

GIFTS THAT COME FROM PAIN

Sometimes, I think that the Universe gives us the GIFT of STRESS, the GIFT of PAIN to help us realize what is really most important. 

Don’t get me wrong, it ABSOLUTELY SUCKS WHEN YOU ARE IN THE MUCK!!!! When I have found myself in those stressful places in life, I just want to get the heck out! In those moments I can struggle to see the lesson, the silver lining, or anything good that can possibly come from that stress or that pain. 

That’s exactly why I want to remind you (and myself) of what good can come from stress right now. Without that stress, you might not be led to CHANGE. 

I learned the lesson of gratitude for pain from Oprah Winfrey. She has frequently said that when she is in a place of great pain and great stress, that she asks herself “What is this moment here to teach me? What can I learn from this moment?” 

When I am in places of great stress and pain, I find so much peace in this question. Once, when I was stuck in the thick of my eating disorder, a mentor actually asked me this question when I was in a puddle of tears. He asked me “Shelby, what gifts can come from this?” I honestly couldn’t think of any in the moment. I was even annoyed by his question. All I saw was a living hell. But, literally moments later, I thought…. “If I can manage to get myself out of this, I can use my own experience to help others.” 

I will tell you, all of the hardest things I have experienced in my life, I use now to help others. I have so much more empathy for others BECAUSE of the hard things I have been through. I have wisdom I can use to support my clients, my friends, and my family on how to get out of their own personal place of pain and misery. I also have the wisdom that I can do hard things. 

TURN YOUR PAIN INTO PURPOSE

I want you to begin to reflect on how stress has BENEFITED you (even though I am sure it was unpleasant). What are the hardest things you have been through in your life? What have you learned from these experiences? What will you NEVER do again because of these experiences? How have you been able to help others because of your own stress? What steps did you take toward a better life because of that stress? If you are suffering from a particular pain or stress right now, what do you hope will come from it? What good do you want to come from these experiences? How will you turn your pain, your suffering and STRESS into PURPOSE? 

CHOOSING to see stress in this way gives you an opportunity to RELIEVE IT and actually USE IT FOR GOOD. Use what you have learned and lived through to serve others. 

This holiday season, this Thanksgiving, when you are gathered around the table and sharing what you are grateful for, remember to add STRESS to the list of things for which you are GRATEFUL.  It is one of life's GREATEST TEACHERS, and it has the POTENTIAL to be one of the most expansive opportunities for your GROWTH.